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Check out the totally stunning lack of talent that
entered in 2005... Think you're up to it?
Have you got something lurking in your shed
or cupboard that rival these beauties?
If you said, "Yes!", to either of these questions, then click here and get your entry form and your work to us,
pronto!
We want to give away $3,000.oo and/or a $1,000
Windsor Shopping Spree for the worst artworks entered in the
competition!
Click Here for a PDF of
20o5 Catalogue.
Materials: Paper, Newsprint, Glue and Ink.
Devoid of statement: possess' style, but complete lack of
substance and meaning. Well doodled
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Materials: Gouache on Canvas.
A colourful and warped still-life/interior you immediately
wish to get ‘out’ of. A Post-modernist, failed realist
statement of the smoker's plight?
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Materials: Paint on Solid Wood Board.
Woman on balcony with badly drawn face. Reminiscent of a
cigarette ad or a cheesy chocolate box lid. Would make a
lovely gift for Nana.
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Materials: Pastel on Paper..
Artist has unintentionally captured the curator's dog and
cradled it in a damsel's arms. As to why they added a coconut shell
UFO(?) flying a dragon’s head flag?? Superb Merkin work.
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Materials: Oil on Canvas.
Moving depiction of a woman with the nods?? ‘Not sure what she’s
smoking, but it must be pretty good.’
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Materials: Colour copies and colour transparencies.
Probably too good, this artist has a lot of learn about
mediocrity. But they are still in the running as poor old 'Lise'
isn't easy to spot and doesn't seem to have a clear reason for her
inclusion other than unsubstantiated poetic symbolism.
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas Board.
Mutant flower with truncated stem, together with a side-on
cross-section of a woman with either a baby, or an enlarged liver
growing inside her. Commendable nipple and hairless underarm
work!
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas.
Very hard to describe, except for saying it is truly horrible.
This artist is consistently disturbing. The recurring theme of
amputation is evident in fabulous monotone maroon murk.
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Materials: Oil on Paper.
Another political statement. Exploding skyscrapers overlaid with
the words ‘New York Fucks Dogs’. The composition here is quite
good. There’s movement and drama. But the clouds around the
outside are still shit. As is the artist’s liberal use of what
appears to be mustard/infant faeces scraped between unconvincing
clouds as a framing device.
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Materials: Acrylic on Wood.
Reminiscent of the artwork that used to adorn JB HiFi and
assorted video stores. Her nose is off-centre, like she’s been
struck with a blunt instrument or suffered a not so subtle face
shift.. One finds oneself asking "If Marilyn Monroe and Sophie Monk
had a lovechild, would it be called Marilyn Monk or Sophie
Monroe?".
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Materials: Oil on Masonite.
Amputee frog amongst the earnestly rendered bullrushes.
Probably great picture to use as your companion when taking
'mushies'. Obvious the frog would share kind and wise words with
you. Prophetic or pathetic?
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Materials: Oil on Canvas.
Jesus with one midget hand and one stump???? The
overwhelming theme here is ‘brown’. Even with the realist pieces,
you can never be sure exactly what they’re meant to be.
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Materials: Oil Paint, Wire and Sppray enamel on Landscape.
A political statement. Truly horrible. Refugees behind razor
wire, and John Howard doing something horrible to a sheep. His
dentures and jowls are almost as disturbing as the rest of the
painting.
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Materials: Silk print on foil wrapping paper, complete with old
sellotape marks and bits.
Homoerotic gay pride statement? Complete with goolies being
grabbed? Finally realised figures are facing forward by
depiction of belly buttons, clarifying the 'goolie
holder'.
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Materials: Mixed Media; Acrylic, Lipstick, Egg, Buttons,
Sellotape, Bottlecaps and Cigarette Butts.
Perhaps the title means we are at a loss as to how to
interpret this work or which direction to hang it.
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas, Wire and Plastic Beads.
Woman with pink plastic beads in place of her eyes, nipples and
public hair. A large pulsating red thing – perhaps a ‘heart bum’,
resting somewhere near the woman’s groin. ‘Feed me what?’ one asks.
This is one that’s perhaps best viewed at a distance, perhaps
Sydney?
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas Board.
The subject could be Claudia Karvan, but her torso is deformed.
There’s a two-dimensional pond and a skinny snake near her. Perhaps
the water symbolizes emotions, and the snake symbolizes sex. Either
way, she looks extremely uncomfortable as she is absorbed by the
stripy sand.
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas Board.
Another impressive entry from Mr Gough, this second picture
shows the same woman, this time with an eating disorder. What’s
that in the background? Is it a sundial...or a pizza?’
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Materials: Oil Paint on Stretched Canvas with Iron fillings.
A grimacing head poking through a badly rendered heard,
sprinkled with iron filings. The mood is distinctly black.
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Materials: A framed multimedia work that appears to include
Glue, Plastic Toys and Solidified Vomit.
A trully shithouse 3 dimensional work. Found objects made
objectional
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Materials: Poster paint on Canvas Board.
Truly disturbing. Graphic content, not for the faint
hearted! When recovering from the drag queen eyehadow
application and viewing subject's costume in detail, leads one
to wonder if this a sexual statement about Nikki
Webster?
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Materials: Space Filling Foam on Cardboard.
Stand Up the Boy Who Did That One!
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Materials: Acrylic on Canvas.
Reclining young female nude mermaid(?) with
butterflies strategically placed as an effective tool for the
artist to avoid rendering the female genitalia. Bit fishy to
us!
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Materials: Crushed velvet, Acrylic and Glitter.
And after his recent behavior, rightly so! A slick
reference to his 70's hit -'Do Ya Wanna Touch?' A very angry and
suitably pathetic looking Gary Glitter rendered on purple
velvet. Evidence that all that glitters, is not gold.
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Materials: Gouache on Board.
An oversized daffodil, rendered extremely poorly, overshadows a
very proportionally challenged spindly tree. Alternate title?
“Daft-o-dill?"
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Materials: Acrylic on Board.
Head and shoulders of dubious fellow with bulbous, yet one
dimensional, grey hairstyle. (Like Bob Geldof wearing a steel wool
wig.) Full marks to the artist for solid outlines around eyes
and nose.
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Materials: Oil on Board.
A colonial family scene, with the father displaying a pair of
Saint Kilda team long-johns draped over his badly rendered arm.
Family look with rapt attention as they interact meaningfully
together around pants.
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